We fought about this last february and we decided to go on marriage counseling first week of march. No more taking back my life, moving forward and praying for gods grace & mercy. Anything I said she would not hesitate to do it was amazing cook clean but it was all just a front she liked the excitement but as soon as we had responsibilities and stress from bills and life she got depressed and started fights and arguments accusing me of silly things. Taking him back time and time again would only make me the enabler..and I don’t care what you have be it bipolar, major depression or PTSD you MUST be held accountable for your behavior. I always thought that I was stable and would manage to avoid this terrible desease. You have no idea the guilt and shame that haunt us for our past, present and probably future behaviors (even with meds, theraphy, and exercise) NO IDEA. The first year was a back and forth roller coaster. I would suggest if anything be friends with bebifits and don’t get emotional attached. Grow up! She was diagnosed actually by our marriage cousoler who saw it in our first meeting but it told a couple months to get her to go through the testing for it. Bipolar and Infidelity. I think that after a lifetime of depression and mania, he is left incapable of being able to do this, and does not have any interest in doing the work necessary that could have probably saved our relationship. Remember its not you and there is absolutely nothing you can do, change his mind, or reason with him during the manic phase. Good luck to all of you, and if I am able to give any advise from my experience, it would be to appreciate the time, love, loyalty and devotion that a partner of a BP puts in. You are a strong person to accept your child as you have. With this shared, it has now sent me into a deep depression to the point of wondering what my life is worth which is terrible as I need to be strong for my family. I think you would find that your partner will continue with his behaviour.. You get the blame.. 28 years I out up with this.. She texted me and begged me to stay and that we could support each other until we had enough money saved to live separately, but all I had to do was ask what she would have done if I had been the one cheating and she had nothing more to say. It’s even harder to experience this in line with his cycles. He even risked his jobs by doing something that are going to get him terminated from the jobs couple of times. However, ground all your actions in love and start with the assumption that this is a medical issue. I would like to see if there is any happy ending stories also. WHAT’S the fucking big deal?! Now, he has it made. Masturbation 2 times a day coupled with passionate steamy sex with my husband STILL doesn’t fully satisfy my needs. I sent him an email today again offering my love and support if he wanted to return home and get help, but he refuses to acknowledge me. For many people, these are unbearable behaviors. He appears to feel no oblagation or concern towards me or our marriage. False police reports… the whole nine yards… every codependent I have been with in public will act as if I don’t exist… the borderline ducks down behind people and then retells a long winded dramatic account of things that never happened. You feel like shit. never, ever would i expect this from him. She constantly has to stay busy and if she is not, she is SO terribly hard to deal with. This April (he is still living outside our home) he was arrested and is currently incarcerated as we speak. After 2 yrs. However, in the last year she has got this thing about not opening the mail, destroying it and not paying some bills. When she started a fight u would put gas on it by fighting back saying she is crazy and delusional I could not believe the wild delusional things she would say. I met and married a normal man 22 years ago and live is nice and normal now. It’s pretty devastating. Sort of like taking painkillers. I have heard it time and time again. He had a massive affair, lost his job and left and moved in with his mistress. He left me and my son who has autism in a state that we just moved there because of his new job for a Vermont woman he met in 2009. I have read all the above comments, life stories and pain.. Out of despair and despondency I looked up for some support today to sustain my ongoing challenges.. I’d cuddle her and hold her when people were around, but she’d clam up. She is a school nurse and she thinks my son’s father loves her very much. I felt thst my husband was my love who was challenging.. . Do i walk on eggs for the rest of my life?? Tired of being told things will be better she will get help and stay on meds. There doesn’t seem to be a way when you’re manic (in my case hypomanic – a watered down version of Bipolar Disorder I mania) to get proper sexual release. My brother inlaw is BP and has been medicated for 7 years. I just wish we had know she was BP because it is very treatable and you can watch for the signs and triggers. he is now 25 and it breaks my heart. We had no children due to fertility issues. Here are six true stories about cheating in relationships to help you figure just what it is you're feeling. I would like to say, that while yes, bipolar is an illness, and I have done some reckless things, it is imperative that we take full responsibility for our behavior. Married 38, been in a relationship with a realtionship with my now wife of 2 years for 8 years previous. I sent my daught off to her room and tried to discuss his behavior with him, but he only turned up the TV and ingonred me. I am now thinking divorce is the only route I have left. One such opinion pioneered by Louis J. Cozolino, PhD, a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University in southern California, and leading bipolar disorder guru, says that it’s akin to sexual addiction. How are things now? Everyone here seems to have the same feelings and I bet everyone has received the same advise, be strong, it’s not your fault and things will get better. Everything that comes out of her mouth is negative and she assumes because she thinks this way other’s who have a healthier way of thinking must also be at her immature level. She got scared and had her DR. take her off the meds and try other antidepressants. I would love her to meet someone. After a few months he returned to my home state and convinced me that he was a changed man and asked me to marry him. Should I take the chance of another episode occurring and my children getting hurt again? I’m about to see a counsellor and I have to make steps now to put in place custody arrangements and financial separation agreements and it’s making me feel sick. I actually told him. I have been through so much and now have kids with him. I have been heartbroken and cant believe this happened to our marriage. I’ve been going through the same thing for the last 3 years. Names will be changed to protect those involved. OK here’s the big one….. a few weeks ago is the first time I had wanted to wake her up but didn’t. It is so true..using your illness for an excuse for your actions is a cop out and incredibly irresponsible. I started to have symptoms of mania, which until then had not presented themselves. I missed him terribly, but at this point its now about recovery from all the trauma. While we can laugh about it now, when he first got sober, they diagnosed him with antisocial personality disorder, which turned out to be totally not true. so…let me get this straight..you only cheat on those who deserve to be cheated? In July, I found out that she continued to e-mail him from secret e-mail accounts and that they had both gone so far as to use fake names to hide it. It is really a terrible disease. Feature Stories. I made friends eventually after our divorce, which was a plus because people who knew him like extended family members that we rarely visited with during out marriage and past co-workers, and those who knew of him began to disclose information about him that I wasn’t aware of. On the way there he began deleting all of his emails and text messages. He then made two serious attempts on his life, almost ended up in hospital, is now seeing a team of nurses and a psychiatrist and they have diagnosed him with bi polar. I don’t want to live this way, nor do I want to break my vow by divorcing her if it can be kept under control. It sounds like me talking, what you have described. any suggestions. I caught this one in feb of this year and wanted to end it. I asked her at least every few days if there was anything I could do to help her be happy, because I hated seeing her depressed and feeling helpless, and all she could come up with was that I wasn’t doing enough to take away her domestic stressors and that because I would slip up and forget or mess up sometimes that I wasn’t “showing her love” even though I said I loved her many times a day, was constantly hugging and kissing her and being affectionate. he went into the hospital, put on meds for bipolar 1. is still in an awful depression and cannot seem to move forward. Hot New # 1. At last, stop whining about this. OMG your not Billy ARE YOU??? I have restraining orders on all of mine. He shared all his secrets with me, he told me that no one in the world knew him like I did … I believed that … but it wasn’t enough. God Bless! However I still have no idea where this leaves us?? She also started buying things online. He had friends in the local police department who watched me. I’ve been with my husband all my life, we met when we were 15 and there has never been a doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life with him. She believes that I’m out to get her and that thier is nothing wrong? he is 53 and had his first major bout of depression at 19. he had no manic episodes until this past spring/summer. I am still hurt, after spending so much time and energy in helping him with this illness, only to be discarded and blamed. The technical content I relate to in this post is accredited to them. She now only see’s the bad in people, it is amazing. Could be bipolar disorder, could be something else entirely, such as a thyroid condition. He behavior towards me and my children has been very controling and mentally and verbaly abusive. I’m really in the middle of this situation. This post has gone on long enough. all I ever wanted was the man I married back but the last three years have been torture. I soon found out that she would wake up in the middle of the night and sneak out to have sex and also bring guys over while I was sleeping and have sex with them. I questioned myself and my … In this section we will discuss infidelity causes, solutions, and some unfortunate statistics. The meds are starting to even her out and she is thinking more clearly. I’m reading all the stories and I’m scared to death that I am bipolar. “Dom” is himself a school psychologist who knows she is under medical care and on Depakote. If it were me, I’d tell my wife how much I loved her, that she seemed not to be herself, and I’m concerned about her health. His family feel very similar and are supporting me more than him, nobody seems to have any understanding of the illness. I have mentioned to her that she needs to seek help that her actions come with out warning and she gets abusive. The next night I went to her home to pick up some remaining items and we had sex and she said she loves me. any time i tried to communicate he was nasty as all hell. He goes to support groups and really tries to be as normal as he can. Now we are separated as i had no choice, he wanted to throw me out of the house. Then fell for a guy she met while in the hospital. The families suffer and they get a free pass. ... Today, my plan for a happy marriage is to manage bipolar disorder separately from managing my marriage whenever possible. I started lose confidence more and more to the point where I gave the ring back in several occasions and fight constantly. That was enough for me. She was just diagnosed BP today.she signed the divorce papers after her appointment with her new doctor.he wants to see how the low dose of seroquel her np prescribed her works for the next few weeks.she says pot is the only thing that takes away her pain so she is continuing to do it daily with this scumbag.she knows now that this is for sure her sickness that she has suspected all along but still feels that she is in love with the other guy and can’t come back because of it.she is ashamed to face family and friends.but IV assured her that they all know that this is bipolar and not her.they all miss her too and want her back in our lives.she made sure to ask me if I would tell my parents she was diagnosed bipolar.she says she is always depressed and crying and cannot sleep anymore.she has been in this episode for about 2 months as far as I can tell.the beginning seemed manic and hypersexual.i think she still is hypersexual with this guy but she is always down and crying unless she is high.when and will the real her come back?she said that she is afraid that if she did and this happened again that she would kill herself for sure.i told her that since she has been diagnosed that treatment will get her well and happy again.I promised her that and that her family is here in her real home with me.should I give up hope?when will this end?I’m doing all I can to understand this disease. 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