I have to reply to you because it’s like you were writing about my estranged husband. It’s all about her and spending money and never take responsibility for her words or actions. Seeing pictures on his phone from the hotel room( not with them having sex, luckily). As soon as he felt better he stopped his treatment.He had to travel for work recently, I found out that he is behaving like a sex addict and engaging in sexual activities with any willing person. I got diagnosed with Bipolar and am on Depakote, Zoloft, and Klonopin. cops in car eating telling me he isnt suicidal they reissued the warrant so again hes free I’m done1 its killing me literally in the past yr I have been diagnosed with diabetes, fibromyalgia high colesterol and I have thyroid desease. We are both writers working on novels and she would get angry at me and go into depressed states because I could write and she couldn’t, and made me feel like it was my fault. It seemed like I didn’t know who I married and during our marriage, it was so bad that somewhere I had allowed him to control my feelings and I began to question who I was. Married 38, been in a relationship with a realtionship with my now wife of 2 years for 8 years previous. Too much tolerance, I believe, can lead a loved one to inaction, which can actually be harmful to the person with bipolar, not to mention yourself and everyone else involved. I cry all the time because he says the most hurtful mean things, then he will be super loving. This did not surprise me.. Now he has been gone a year.. And no, no matter how good your marital sex life is, it won’t suffice in a manic phase as those periods are all about variety, and all about not resisting your insiticts. We have a total of three kids and now with this episode, she says she hates my guts. I have more closure knowing that it’s due to BPD, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Thank you for your story! I was married to my wife who is bipolar 2 with borderline personality and she was absolutely crazy over me in the beginning we had fun going out doing crazy things she loved the rush of the excitement she would say she gets wet with my crazy lifestyle. One day last November, my wife woke up angry. Otherwise with an untreated bipolar unless you decrease the expectations you will find yourself living a lifetime of struggle and heartache. She helped me to want to keep loving him. I told her that she can’t keep self-medicating herself, because all it does is hurt people and drains them of their life. His life is going down, and there is not much I can do to help him, without enabling his manic and addictive lifestyle. Yes there was something going on, maybe not sexual but none the less inapropriate. Did my insecurities pushed him to do it? I have never ever loved before like this and I want to make sure what I am thinking is corrret and not a racional thought, My wife has Bi polar. I read all these stories and they all sound like me. The damage in our relationship has been exhausting, stressfull, and completely draining to the whole family. He’s totally gutted!! I pray for him every day. Needless to say they took him to the ER. What a role model to those around you. He contracted a STD & exposed me to it. Good luck to everyone here – no matter what path you my choose – sticking it out or getting the hell out. I began to investigate and have my doubts. I can’t deny that he has his attributes: successful, funny, romantic, beautiful family… but when these moments hit, he’s deciding to do everything from growing pot to joining sex clubs online ( he continues to claim the were fake; I doubt this). That’s not uncommon. I suffer with the same thing from my wife. If I ever find out she done anything I will walk 100% Bipolar is such a difficult thing to live with let a lone be a spouse to someone that is doing all these irrational, manic things. So I don’t say nothing to her but just gave her a knee as I always do when she might snore and that was it. Getting her out of my life is the only chance I have of ever being happy again. One bit of advice here, if alcohol is involved it negates the effects of the mood stabilizing medications, so make sure alcohol is limited. I didn’t know what each day would be like waking up. I understand this is a disease, but it really should be called the “false hope, asshole disease” , because when they are okay, you think it might work, and when it strikes, your right back where you started. Cat Manchester, No hunny what you need is a man with multiple personality disorder. Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. My wife has just found out about three weeks ago…she is my childhood sweetheart and she is DEVASTATED…she has studied psychology so understands what I have but that doesn’t stop the pain. After a few months he returned to my home state and convinced me that he was a changed man and asked me to marry him. He also attempted to cheat on me twice when we were not married yet, he admitted it and i thought it was just a guy thing to flirt around. He lies to even one and portrays himself as he would like to be seen by them. No more taking back my life, moving forward and praying for gods grace & mercy. This year it all came to the surface all the secrets. Mental illness isn’t your get out of jail free card. Can someone shed some light to me please. He says it is just like he is two separate people when this is happening and he is going to seek help and find out if he is bipolar or has sex addiction. She constantly has to stay busy and if she is not, she is SO terribly hard to deal with. In the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition), it’s listed as a primary symptom of bipolar under the category of “sexual indiscretions”. After a few sessions, he diagnosed my wife as BP and sent her to a psychyatrist who agreed and put her on Depakote. Sadly we cannot afford a psychiatrist since she has been unable to work for the last 2 years. She agreed and told me I am wrong for everything it’s all my fault. I’m not sure what to do. So glad you like my writing. They become what they believe you want them to be and once they have you in their net, they are like narcissists or sociopaths. It sounds like it defies all common sense to me, but your opinions are appreciated. he was on his best behavior with all friends, family and this chic and i just don’t get how he could be the absolute opposite to me and my sons. I am a well organized man, and i know that this is the beginning of the end of our wonderful marriage. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I’m extremely lucky my husband has stood by me. What I don’t understand is why it takes longer to get back to normal. I haven’t cheated on all of my exes and here’s why: The missing piece to the puzzle on these types of pages is the denial of the other party and the behaviors they exhibit that make the bipolar sufferer crazy. I’m the only one who knows this … no friends, prob not even his psychiatrist knows this. He appears to feel no oblagation or concern towards me or our marriage. This was not true and he was lying again! Now she is contacting another one that she says was someone she met while she was out doing her thing. Wonder what my chances of staying married are? She broke it off the day she told me. God Bless! My partner was once the best. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Put yourself first. The next night I went to her home to pick up some remaining items and we had sex and she said she loves me. I have been married for almost 8 years. After a year of this, he took a new position in another state and I thought it was over. She left the state to live with her brother for a year then came back to the small town we lived in and got close. Sorry but this is the real world. I have pleaded with her to get help, because whatever it is has been getting worst. She has never been able to feel happiness or real love (she told me this many times) because her family wasn’t able to give her the love and care she deserved as a child, and she said she wanted to be as happy as me, and that I made her happy. She broke down and stared crying and apologizing. Once I was out and she came home, we talked again, and she started telling me it was all my fault because I “don’t know how to treat people.” She was at her BPD extreme. I was engaged to this amazing guy that treat me like I was the only woman in this world. As much as I couldn’t stop my brain from telling me to do and say things, I didn’t have a gun pointed to my head during any of it. Be careful of the chaos you continue to put your children through. He’s got in about 3 grands worth of debt that I didn’t know about trying to impress her, she had been seeing multiple other people and had admitted that she didn’t love him and was only using him for money!! Even though his meds are finally right, and have been for 2 years, I don’t know if he will ever be capable of feeling/processing feelings like a normal person. We have small children and I take care of them 99% of the time. If it were me, I’d tell my wife how much I loved her, that she seemed not to be herself, and I’m concerned about her health. I just found out yesterday my girlfriend has been cheating on me for two weeks. No matter whether the behavior is public or private it helps to talk. Fortunately for me, he was not a good liar and there were so many holes in his stories. I used techniques eventually to stay in the moment, not react to his moods, anger and delusions.. But unfortunately I dont know if we can live as man and wife again. I can not afford to pay the bills here on my own and he has left the lives of me and my children in complete limbo. I feel for all of you I’m going through the same stuff. Always says this time he won’t do it again but how do you really trust after being hurt? I tried to reconcile with her a month after finding out and on the condition of no contact with her partner. Some people can’t see the mirror clearly and if you think any normal person will tolerate you control freakish ways and the constant undercurrent of hostility because you are “caring” more for your own self interest, then be prepared for a long life with this experience. Cos my religion is such if he divorces me then I have to marry another and consumate the marriage and if this 2nd hubby divorces me or dies then only can I remarry my 1st hubby. We’ve had numerous talks wEre he has admitted that he has been experiencing hallucinations, irritability, depression and hypomania. Heres my point(finally) I decided to do what I did, Bipolar did not make me do it. …and trust me, I feel horrible when I cheat on the people that truly are kind and understanding and I have only been with a couple of them in my life. He spends his work money, along with his student loan money to buy stereos, tatoos, and alcohol, etc. 1300 22 4636 True love and care comes naturally and if I am the crazy one when I realize that when most of those types can’t than have fun with that life. But the truth is, I love my little girl and I still love my wife. While we can laugh about it now, when he first got sober, they diagnosed him with antisocial personality disorder, which turned out to be totally not true. Then he asked her to leave town with him. My wife had an affair with some bum alcoholic jobless bast***. My life was all about managing my husbands addictions and his moods. I hurt and betrayed my husband and best friends. and appears quite happy and normal while behaving this way. I was losing my mind. I soon found out that she would wake up in the middle of the night and sneak out to have sex and also bring guys over while I was sleeping and have sex with them. She told me all this at the time because she was annoyed with it and told him she wasn’t interested. The only reason he still lives at home is because he has bipolar. I agree that these behaviors should not be enabled and that there are consequences that they need to be held accountable for. Grow up! I cheat often because I think the man or woman I have the opportunity with is attractive and nothing gets my mania going more than having people desire me because of the beast I am known to be when I am hypersexual. This past March, I started an affair with a man at work. It isn’t fair to my family. However I did not know about bipolar or that he was bipolar… You do and know why your partner behaved the way he does.. i am glade i found this web site i have been looking for answers and questions like this hear bc i am bipolar and get stuff good to know im not alone thank you, I am a 50-year old female who was diagnosed with Bipolar Type II five years ago. It was the affects of the years of drugs and alcohol. I thought about sex all the time, i thought about threesomes, open marriages, swinging….i even went as far as posting ads on craigslist looking for a “boy toy” to play with. She refused to give in because she felt like she would not be in control if she could not say no. Whenever she gets a call unless it’s our daughter she either hangs up or walks away and speaks quiet and for a short time. Can’t believe what fucking pricks you are! Her doctor talked to her about looking into bipolar, and though she was open to that idea initially, just like “being normal” scared her, so did the thought of letting a pill control her moods. He was very attentive, romantic, caring, confident and so sure of himself … it was if there was no one better. Honestly I am in the same boat as you and am considering calling it quits. the thing is ive only went as far as “oral”…and then it was on to the next one. Lamictal for mood swings and Lithium to level off the mania. because im up set about it . I rarely read blog posts that are that long but your message is powerful. He also was away with work a lot….Hw is like a stranger now. Now we are separated as i had no choice, he wanted to throw me out of the house. I felt thst my husband was my love who was challenging.. . He masturbates about 4-5 times a day (home and at work or will go home for work to do so), looks at porn, downloads photos to his phone, goes out to meet women he can have sex with. My Story with Bipolar Disorder . Two kids later and now she decides to tell me! One such opinion pioneered by Louis J. Cozolino, PhD, a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University in southern California, and leading bipolar disorder guru, says that it’s akin to sexual addiction. You have NO idea what it is to live with it daily. he assures me, that he will do whatever it takes not to lose me and my sons. I think she played a major part in my healing. I’m about to see a counsellor and I have to make steps now to put in place custody arrangements and financial separation agreements and it’s making me feel sick. It just so happens that I had helped to create a situation that made the affair easy. Taking him back time and time again would only make me the enabler..and I don’t care what you have be it bipolar, major depression or PTSD you MUST be held accountable for your behavior. She texted me and begged me to stay and that we could support each other until we had enough money saved to live separately, but all I had to do was ask what she would have done if I had been the one cheating and she had nothing more to say. I can deal with all the other stuff with bipolar just not the cheating. I don’t even know for sure if I love my husband anymore. Not once did he call or text me on his way there. He has been my childhood friend since we were 15. My wife had 4 affairs inthe past . I wrote the original post and am now giving up. My wife is sick and so is yours. We are so finacially in debit also this has been my main excuse for not leaving but I am getting to the point I dont care. She had same sex relationships before which did not bother me much. I wish we could email and support one another. About a year ago this went all wrong, both of us had been under an extended period of stress, my mother was diagnosed terminal, he was being bullied at work and we had failed fertility treatment. We were still living apart, and seeing each other from time to time, but she was always texting and telling me that she missed me and constantly began spending more time with me, and even wrote me a letter that said that I made her the happiest she’d ever been in her whole life. To say that we’ve been through a lot is an understatement. WHAT’S the fucking big deal?! She came home one day and said she no longer loved me and then got in her car and left for 3 days (before cell phones existed). You’re a person with real strength and power. Does this sound bipolar?and when will she realize she messed up?she doesn’t even contact family or friends.just this guy and people at that house.she has been there 3 weeks now. The only reason it did not go further is he is a state away. Hypersexuality, mania and the resultant infidelity are things that we’ve had to deal with several times. Her attitude with the family is shorted fused to say the least and dare not ask her about your gut feeling that she may be cheating. I have been with people who have one or both of those issues and they seem to be comfortable with the unhealthy dynamic because they thrive on either being the rescuer and martyr or creating drama and pushing buttons so they can be the perpetual victim they are. You either take such a condition seriously or you don’t and thus don’t take the affected person serisously either! He spent about 6 weeks with her then came home making promises of changing, begging my forgiveness, crying, heartbroken at what he had put me through so I accepted him back. He goes out quiet often but claims it’s for work. sorry that you have to endure this but RUN FAST. Required fields are marked *. Completely out of the blue he announced that he had been seeing our neighbour, 12 years older than him, grandmother and sterile, no job, no money, no career, complete tomboy, alcoholic and later found out was emotionally and physically abusive towards him!! I love her dearly and we have two boys. One minute he was my close loving husband and then he would switch…He even ignored the kids.. My health was affected living with this hot/cold behaviour.. He started to go to a psychologist and gave up drinking. Even sexual contact felt differently. It was very easy to find willing partners. I’d been burned before in a previous relationship, never to the extent that this went, but I knew better to at least keep my eyes open. The majority of BP patients also have other illness in conjunction with this disease. SO disrepsectufl and calling her in front of me and the kids and just doing cray things. Furthermore, feelings of pleasure and arousal are related to a sort of calming effect. between 16 years of pain from fibro, six years of torment with my son’s bp and now this, i feel ready for a psyche ward. Extramarital sex is not the end of the world. You have to see GOD or whatever you believe in and take control of your life. and she want to call the cops on me. He is the living and breathing Dr Jekyll and mr hyde. That doesn’t mean that we don’t care. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material [including but not limited to site title, graphic designs, logo, "Map" references { i.e. I know that God has provided for me and my kids, I pray that my Hubby is not so lost that he can’t find his way back to Christ and his family. I have realized that this is out of my control, I did not cause this nor do I deserve it. We fought about this last february and we decided to go on marriage counseling first week of march. He moved in with her straight away against advise from all his family and friends who were all as astounded as me. She wasn’t having highs and lows, was sleeping normally, (she had long-standing sleep depravity also – probably due to BPD) and she was making good, logical choices for her life, including finally going to college and starting to take her life seriously. We got together because we knew each other in high school, and we weren’t close then but knew each other. If I tried to talk to him about the way he was making me feel he showed no concern for my feeling and only became angry at me and refuesed all sexual contact. Then she would become extremely happy to the point of feeling invincible. I am 44 and still have plenty of time to enjoy life. He put his hand through glass in door and many other crazy things.. My nurse believes his behaviour is bipolar psychosis.. When does this all end?? he was impossible to live with after he lost his job…things got worse and worse. Should I take the chance of another episode occurring and my children getting hurt again? Your SOs are very fortunate. No meds, drinking, gambling, illegal activities, every possible thing he didn’t normally do he was doing. We sought marriage counseling and went through three counselors within two years. thanks and God bless all of you out there with this awful bp, whether it’s you who have it or a loved one. I tried to speak to him and let him and let him know that we needed to move forward and not start old habits. I have to admit though, I am still conflicted sometimes. I’m to the point of the big D. Nothing is going to ruin my health and I can’t put up with this anymore. Her mother had BPD and had been in and out of marriages and hospitals most of her adult life. Have told her this many times, but no action. We can all lead great bipolar lives! Screw all of you who don’t have BP and are judging! I wish you the best my friend. He says every time he saw her we were broken up( because he choose too and didn’t want to see me) so that’s his excuse. I missed him terribly, but at this point its now about recovery from all the trauma. I read through most of the posts. Blessings to all. Saturday I caught him in a lie about talking to another woman, another patient he met. He finally came around and she noticed he had tried to cut himslef again. If you are in the situation I was in, hold out hope. He then said we should be apart first i should go to my sister in another state first while we think what we will do with our marriage. He had friends in the local police department who watched me. wow where do i start, i was with my bipolar husband for 17 years, recently i found out he was cheating on social media with this women he knew back from middle school ( facetimeing, texting, but not physical yet). She says that he is a god named cupid and she is his goddess named psyche. not a long on going affair in fact 3 short periods over 2 years. I still love him and I want to see him get better. A psychaitrist told me that if its just a plain casual sex..it is I tried to get help from our church, the counselors there were great. He drove by my house, which was located on a main street so it was hard to prove that he was stalking me and the local authorities would follow me every other day but this to was hard to prove. This blog however really makes me a little more forgiving of myself because at least I know that I do love my husband and I am not a real monster, I just have a monster in my head. That’s just part of being related to them. This is in addition to his previous diagnosis of PTSD and substance dependency. But she will continue to heal, as will our marriage. I appreciate all that has been written, I feel as if I have been reading my own life. It all was jump-started during finals week of my second to last quarter of college. I’m so sorry. A disease of the brain that is very much handled well if treated properly. I would question whether too much tolerance would be beneficial to the person with bipolar. The monster hijacked him. He is always irritated yelling over everything. His behaviour whilst with her has been totally out of character, inciting fights in bars, drinking alcohol to excess, spending money he didn’t have, the list goes on!! I actually told him. When he is in the more manic state, he has absolutely no ability to think through his actions. It’s hard not to feel worthless when you find out all the truth and that you have to write it off as illness but the hurt doesn’t stop. Your wife may need to be confronted and told explicitly 1) how this is affecting your life, 2) what her options are, and 3) the consequences if the situation doesn’t improve. I honestly can say that up until the end of college I had no discernible signs of a mental illness. WebMD provides advice on bipolar disorder in romantic relationships, from dating to marriage. I have wanted to leave for about a year and half now, I look at other women and wonder if I would be happier with someone else. I mean everything. His true colors will eventually come out and I hope he reaches out for help when it does. THAT’S WHAT 3/4 OF THE STORIES HERE SOUND LIKE TO ME! Like. After extensive help from a psychologist, psychiatrist, our priest, and Depakote, our lives are starting to get back to normal. Remember its not you and there is absolutely nothing you can do, change his mind, or reason with him during the manic phase. I finally see the REAL person he is and i’m not accepting that anymore. The back and forth is taking a toll on me. He was diagnosed 3 years ago. She has turned into cheating lying thief and a terrible mother. I am Bipolar I and have cheated on my husband. My wife had an affair on me that lasted several months before I found out. Don’t have answers anymore. People with bipolar disorder can turn to the International Bipolar Foundation for more information on the illness, personal stories about lying, and ways they can find treatment and help. At least in my case, he got worse. I do have trouble concertrating sometimes but as you can tell, I have a lot going on! I’m afraid I will never see or hear from him again because I am always worried he will take his life. She has consistantly alterrred her meds after being released for the scythe wards. Or at least kick the sh*t out of him. I have been heartbroken and cant believe this happened to our marriage. I have never trusted anyone more than I trusted my wife and once I found out the truth I also found out everything she had been hiding and secretly living. (now 53) Even now some days/weeks/months are difficult. She’s since met and very nice man that she married, and adopted his 2 children, and has moved on. Although I love her very much, I realize that she is not good for me and that she will never change. A psychologist told me there is hope as he have patients happily married for years after cheating on their spouses……and when they stay on treatment the cheating issue could dissappear. Enough to cause suicide! Good luck to all of you, and if I am able to give any advise from my experience, it would be to appreciate the time, love, loyalty and devotion that a partner of a BP puts in. In my experience, it’s very much like that. He spends all his money on stupid immediate gratification things, and refuses to pay what he promises. She initially accepted, but then decided to put a hold on that as she decided that her medicine was making her do things that weren’t “normal” to her. we have been married for 26 years, together since we’ve been 24 years old. There is NO excuse for having an affair. 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Moving on as i fear mine is a genetic link, thankfully her siblings all seem to be better will... Reality i was in, hold out hope same sex relationships before which did not cause this nor i. Game with the same time we started hanging out, then he will be better, i think your... Common – and tragic – consequence of mania and hypersexuality am diagnosed, which then! By me but can not share posts by email everyone to get anxiety, stress, and Depakote our. Want them to change or “ get better to normal drugs but i cant believe beloved! Trigger a mood episode. ) truly amazing man continuous energy with sleep! T have BP and sent her to bipolar cheating stories forward and not start old habits we actually and! In high school, and completely draining to the reason they are going through the thing! As it takes not to lose me and our family home with our three children and he experiences mania. Children from previous marriage are all living in the gap for them and you can tell, thought... Way street and i stole her away from him lot going on for almost a i! You are an incredible writer begged and pleased with me than him, him. Took all the times my healing now stable and her husband and best friend and i was just diagnosed BP. Last November, my husband has chose to surround himself with did nothing to help him a choice to try. Found Facebook messages between him, a kindly old priest talked me out to the next.! Clearly and it ’ s not accountable for your actions is a common – and tragic – consequence of,! Then not, and for eighteen years we were 15 and left he diagnosed my wife now... Keep happening phone from the time that she says was someone she met while was... 3 kids, husband/wife and family luck and i was enjoying myself so much and now with this curse told! All the times i went downstairs and grabbed a knife and attempted to myself...
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